Chapter 1: THE QUEST
Once upon a time there was a crippled man-lady named Anthony Martinez. Anthony was a very seldom lad... Rrr, I mean thing that shied away from society. At first sight, people may have thought it was a normal woman walking in front of them. "Excuse me ma'm, I've got to be going, may you move aside please?" they would say, only to be greeted by A HORRIFIC MAN FACE!
You see, Anthony's hair was as long as that of Cousin It from the Adam's Family. From behind, it clearly looks like a woman with a skinny stature, but once it turns around its a ginormous whale of putridity. Sight of such a beast causes most to feel like their eyes have melted and makes them puke out all their innards. 'Tis is foul beast that no one man or woman has ever dared go near on purpose. All, except one... but that is a story for a different day! Let's just say that one day Alex was walking through the forest when he found a boulder, so he grabbed it...
So anyways, Anthony was getting tired of not being one gender or the other. He hated being avoided by others and wanted change! For no reason at all, Anthony went for a walk to the park. Passer-by's would scream in utter horror as they ran away.
I hate this! Anthony thought to himself. SUDDENLY, a piece of paper slapped him in the face because it got windy as hell really fast. He removed the paper from his face and began to read it.
Hey queer-bucket! it read, It looks like no one likes you because you're a frikkin' manlady. But have I got a solution for you! I think that if you ROFL, you can actually get people to like you! Come on now! Don't waste time, try it!
The confused but desperate manlady gave a quick shrug and proceeded to lay on the ground with the paper clenched in his hand. Anthony rolled, but with no laughter. He laughed, but with no roll. Why couldn't he do both? It confused him even more. "Am I doomed to have this curse of being a manlady forever?!"
"Well, judging from how much your puny little brain can process, maybe. How can you not roll and laugh at the same time. You must be a bloody idiot!" came a voice with an odd British accent.
"What? Who are you? Where are you?" Anthony asked.
"I'm in your hand you twat! Now please let me go!" demanded whatever was in his hand. It was the paper, it talked!
"A-a-a-a talking paper?!" Anthony questioned, completely confused now.
"No, I'm your mummy, here to serve you some tea and crumpets... OF COURSE I'M A TALKING PAPER! Haven't you ever seen one?! Never mind that though, we need to find out why you can't ROFL. Oh wait, because your brain is as big as a damn jellybean!"
"P-please help me! I want to ROFL so everyone will like me! I'll do anything!" Anthony pleaded.
The paper looked interested in the offer... however that looks like on a paper... "Anything, huh? How 'bout you get me a million dollars and we'll call it a deal?"
"Of course! Anything!" So Anthony ran off to his house as paper floated behind him. He managed to find his parent's safe which contained one billion dollars. Grabbing the entire thing, he turned to the floating paper of magical trippiness and asked, "Is this enough?!"
"Why my boy, this is definitely enough!" the paper said, knowing that it was way more. Man, how stupid is this guy?
"So you'll help me now, right?" Anthony asked in excitement.
"Oh, but of course! Now, what we need to do is find the Golden Rofl Waffle." said the paper.
"The Golden Rofl Waffle?"
"Yes, he is the King Waffle of Rofling and he may grant you the power to Rofl. It is a very dangerous adventure and you might end up losing a-"
"ALRIGHT! LET'S GET SOME THEN!" Anthony interrupted.
The paper gave a facepalm (although I do not know how papers can facepalm but he just did) and sighed, "Oh, what mistake have I made just now?"
So Anthony started off on his adventure, having no clue where he was going... and paper followed right behind him, not bothering to interrupt his moment of happiness by telling him he was going the wrong way.
To be continued...
Horrible typist: Ronald Flores
Mastermind Idea: Christian Perez
Actors: Anthony Martinez, Paper
Event that will happen when read: Anthony will kick my ass.
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